


Erosion

by elatedroses



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Depression, M/M, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-01
Updated: 2019-08-01
Packaged: 2020-07-27 20:17:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20051953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elatedroses/pseuds/elatedroses
Summary: Aziraphale goes to the cliffs, and Crowley follows him.





	Erosion

Aziraphale did not often leave his bookshop unattended for longer periods of time nowadays, but whenever he did, it was to visit the cliffs.

He didn’t care where; he’d take the train or a cab and just went wherever he felt like. Dover was nice, and so was Eastbourne, but it really didn’t matter where. All cliffsides are the same - at least, to Aziraphale they were.

The wind and rain and _ pressure _ do this nifty thing over time to the soil and rock and _ being _ called _ erosion _, in which a surface is beaten away at until it is changed into something new. It was almost a testament to the age of the Earth. While it is a more human concept to change physically as one matures, the plane that they inhabit seems to reflect this idea. 

Aziraphale felt old. He felt the first rains beat onto his head, he felt the way humans fought so needlessly and so _ violently _ , he felt the way his heart welled up and drowned him _ so many times _ that he constantly felt like he was choking. 

Coming to a cliffside was like meditating for him. In some strange way, he saw himself in their features, felt the waves that struck them himself. Molding him into someone new.

-

Crowley knew about the cliff thing, but he still hadn’t quite figured out _ why _ . He hadn’t followed the angel or anything… not a lot, at least. It was just that Aziraphale was usually so vocal about his interests, and it was almost as if he deliberately avoided talking about it. Crowley understood the need for some privacy - hell, there were probably a whole treasure trove of things that Aziraphale didn’t know about him - but it left him feeling a bit _ off _. 

But Crowley would never dare bring it up. He already had to walk on too many eggshells as it was, and he didn’t need to worry about more.

-

This time the location was Cornwall - a small town called Zennor that was “not recommended for the average tourist.” Aziraphale wasn’t worried - in fact, whenever it came to the cliffs, he didn’t feel much at all. It was his cleansing; instead of _ feeling _ all of those pesky emotions and worries, he simply let them all wash away.

Crowley hadn’t seen him face-to-face in a couple months. He’d been wandering around Europe, trying to find some kind of solace that didn’t exist. Deep down, he knew he would never find it. Not alone, at least.

For Aziraphale was the stars in his sky. The night just _ isn’t _ without them, even if the clouds are covering them up some nights.

As soon as Crowley had gotten back from Spain or France or wherever he was last, he’d checked on Aziraphale. Not by actually contacting him - he had his methods, suspicious as they were. When he’d found that Aziraphale had just left, he ran to the Bentley and sped off after him. 

It wasn’t the best decision, but not many of the decisions that Crowley made when it came to the angel really were anyway.

-

A bit before he reached the small town, he slowed down and parked the Bentley. The last thing Crowley needed was for Aziraphale to realize that he’d followed him, and the Bentley squealing through the quiet streets would be asking for it.

He snuck to where Aziraphale was pretty quickly; he was a rather _ slither-y _ fellow, and that’s probably why he could move so fast and so quietly. Ninjas must be very snake-like.

_ There he is _ . Aziraphale was standing at the very edge of the clearing, the part that would prompt frazzled tour guides and parents to _ gasp _ and say something like, “Get back over here, that’s _ dangerous _!” Crowley had to restrain himself from screaming something of that sort to the angel. 

He ducked and hid, willing his body to blend in with the ground. It _ sort of _ did.

-

For what would have felt like ages to a human was only a few hours, but neither angel nor demon moved at all during this time. It was getting dark.

Aziraphale finally let out a sigh that reverberated through his entire being: body and otherwise. He took a step, his arms flying up to balance himself. He took another step, and - 

“ANGEL!” Crowley had been there as soon as Aziraphale had started to wobble just a little bit. He had ran up and wrapped his arms around the angel’s torso, pulling him backwards. They fell in an almost poetic manner, with Crowley dragging Aziraphale down on top of him. Aziraphale would _ not _ appreciate the irony.

Aziraphale pulled Crowley’s hands off, stood, and turned around to face him. There was betrayal etched into his face. “What on _ earth _ are you doing here?” He said with such a force that it echoed into the land.

Crowley was still on the ground, looking up at Aziraphale. He had absolutely no clue how to proceed with this matter. So, naturally, he decided to bullshit his way through it.

“I, uh… was around, and my ‘Aziraphale Is In Danger’ senses were tingling, and here I was, right in time…” He rubbed his back and bottom, miracling away some pains that had come with the fall. 

“You know _ bloody well _ that that is completely and absolutely _ FALSE _ ! You’ve always been such an awful liar for a _ demon _.” The way that he said the last word made Crowley flinch. Aziraphale was so furious that he didn’t know how to talk. Crowley felt his stomach drop a little when he saw faint glowings of thousands of eyes appearing all over Aziraphale’s skin.

The demon crossed his arms, scowling. “Why were you going walking off a _ cliff _ ? Do you _ want _ to get discorporated?” He spat back at Aziraphale.

This seemed to temper some of the anger that was steaming off of Aziraphale. “What did you say?”  


Crowley rubbed a hand across his face, a small disgruntled noise escaping him. He tried to calm himself down enough to bring his voice to a reasonable level. “Angel, you tried to walk off a cliff.”

“I did?” The eyes on Aziraphale’s skin flickered and faded. His actual eyes became vacant, and his legs shook. Crowley rose to catch him, and he keeled forward into the demon’s arms.

“Aziraphale…” The part of him that still held on to making sure he was an awful demon made him hesitate. But that part shouldn’t matter anymore, he reminded himself. It’s _ our _ side. “I’m kinda worried about you.”

The angel had not moved at all, the expression in his eyes still the same. The anger had left entirely, but now there was _ nothing _. His mouth bobbed open, making him look kind of like a fish. Crowley scattered these thoughts before they made him start laughing. 

“Crowley, I…” Aziraphale was interrupted by tears streaming down his face, silent and speedy. Crowley lifted his hand to Aziraphale’s face, forgetting to think twice when he brushed away the tears. The angel closed his eyes, but it didn’t stop them from pouring on out.

“Shhh, shhh.” Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale, his head buried in the demon’s chest. Crowley could feel his shirt getting wet; his heart tremored. He rubbed circles into Aziraphale’s back.

-

Meanwhile, there was a battle occurring in Aziraphale’s mind.

Two foes faced off without weapons or defenses - not of the tangible kind, at least. 

They were on the cliffs, but the sky was now a violent red, the thunderclouds like blood clots. Crimson rain pelted the warriors. One of them was crying. The Other was still, and scowling.

“Why can’t I tell him?” The tearful one screamed, raking his throat with all of his emotion.

The Other One snarled. “Because you don’t deserve _ love _ ! He’d never _ ever _ love _ you _!” This was a striking blow to the tearful one. He fell to the ground, clutching at his heart. It felt like he’d just been stabbed. 

The Other One stood over him, a condescending grin stretching across his hollow face. “You ruin _ everything _.”

The tearful one closed his eyes, and saw a red-haired demon smile at him in Eden. He saw that same demon handing him a bag of books. He heard that demon scream out “ANGEL!” before being pulled back from the cliffs.

Aziraphale felt a fire burn through all his tears, they’d laid the groundwork like gasoline. He felt the flames licking at his body.

He suddenly opened his eyes, glaring at the Other One. “You’re wrong,” He spit at his opponent, some of the flames sneaking out from his mouth.

The Other One began to frown, but turned it into a smirk. “Oh, really? You, a pathetic excuse of an angel, a fucking _ weakling _ \- you wouldn’t know the right thing if it bit you! You deserve _ NOTHING _!”

Aziraphale took these words and fed them to the furnace. It roared.

He stood up, confidence making him stand straighter. “Yes, maybe so. I failed. A lot. But you know what? That doesn’t make me unqualified. That doesn’t mean I don’t deserve happiness.” Aziraphale’s voice trembled on the last word, but he cleared his throat and continued. He lifted his chin up. “I _ do _ deserve love.”

The Other One screamed and raked his fingers across his face. The fresh marks would be unforgettable scars. But those were already there anyway.

“You can’t do this!” He screamed. His hands started to turn to dust. “You’re _ WORTHLESS _!”

Aziraphale marched up to the Other One, a sword of flames manifesting in his hand. “I’m ineffably imperfect. And that’s the way it was always meant to be.”

He struck the Other One with his sword, lodging it right through the middle of his chest. Aziraphale watched as the being that was physically identical to him crumbled into dust. His sword was gone. He heaved a great big sigh, and fell to the ground.

The fire had gone out, and the dust had settled. 

-

Aziraphale gasped back to life. Crowley immediately let go of him, still keeping his hands on the angel’s shoulders. 

Crowley’s entire body relaxed. “Oh my.. Angel, I was so.. Oh..” He lifted one hand to rub his head. He quelled the sob that was threatening to break free. “I can’t.. I can’t lose you again.”

Aziraphale took Crowley’s hands and folded them into his own. Crowley’s sunglasses had been discarded some time ago, and so he looked into the demon’s eyes: yellow and slitted and absolutely _ beautiful _. 

“Crowley, there’s something I’ve been meaning to say for a long time.” Aziraphale was calm. He’d already faced one demon. 

Crowley was wary, but nodded. He still hadn’t comprehended that they were holding hands - that would probably make his head explode.

Aziraphale took a deep breath, and let it out. “Okay. Crowley, I love you.”

There was silence and stillness. The angel tilted his head, lifting one hand to Crowley’s face and cradling his cheek. “Crowley? My dear?”

Crowley’s body jolted, his expression pooling full of shock. Aziraphale could almost _ hear _ the circuits getting fried in there.

“Oh, well, I guess I have to do it then.” Aziraphale raised his other hand to Crowley’s face, pulling it to his own. 

When their lips met, it was peace. 

There were no climbing flames or beating waves. Only serenity. Only _ them _. 

-

After they had separated, and Crowley had come out of his state (This took quite a while, because he was faced with six thousand years of repressed feelings coming out and almost killing him), they sat and stared up at the stars together.

“Why did you wait so long?” Crowley asked, stirring the almost-silence of the night.

Aziraphale averted his gaze. “I.. I felt like I didn’t deserve it. To love, to be loved. It’s all kind of childi-”  
  
“Hey.” Aziraphale looked to Crowley, whose expression was more serious than he’d ever seen before. “It is not childish.”

The angel smiled sheepishly, his thoughts still not entirely used to being structured so differently.

Crowley took Aziraphale’s hands and gazed into his eyes. He smiled. 

“You are worth _ everything _.”

Waves crashed onto the cliffside, and it was the first time that they made Aziraphale feel _ whole_.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!!! this is my first go at a oneshot in this fandom, and I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. have a lovely day/night!!!


End file.
